ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
