He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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