apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
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true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
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Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter