he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize