Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
do nipples grow back?
Randomize