the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!