craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
