I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize