how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
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and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
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They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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