sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
