no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
