i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
