tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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