A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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