My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
