Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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