Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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