i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
