i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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