I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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