Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
