You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
