So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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