Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
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He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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