I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize