Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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