I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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