Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
