I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
