There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
whose parrot is this?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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