I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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