Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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