That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You were trust falling into bushes
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
