who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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