You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
