You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
