I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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