the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
