Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize