Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
