I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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