yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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