he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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