She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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