We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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