so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
