it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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