I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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