Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
