Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
