She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
