Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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