In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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