Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
