I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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