maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
