i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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