Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
