dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
