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You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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