At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
