It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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