what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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