It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
